It Does Not Need Sexy, It Needs Relevant

Matthew G. Saroff
2 min readOct 31, 2023

It appears that the European Union is working a plan to, “Sex up the European Parliament.”

The EU Parliament cannot:

  • Draft legislation
  • Amend legislation
  • Draft a budget

Why on earth should anyone care what goes on there?

The European Parliament knows it has a reputation for being boring. Now it’s trying to sex things up.

MEPs don’t bother showing up to debates during the monthly plenary sessions in Strasbourg; journalists barely pay the place any attention; and the Parliament’s procedures are a mess — that’s according to the Parliament’s own civil servants who issued the grim diagnosis in a “background note” to senior MEPs earlier this year.

Obtained exclusively by POLITICO, an obscure working group cooked up a document considering ways to overhaul the Parliament’s machinery in time for European elections in June 2024.

Notwithstanding its state as an elected body, serves no function beyond that of a debating society.

They would not have a working group on making them more interesting if they actually had a meaningful function.

The EU Parliament is basically an exercise in public masturbation, and people don’t want to watch this ………

OK, REALLY bad metaphor. There are a lot of people who want to watch public masturbation. Some of them actually pay for it.

Let’s call it “Parliamentary Masturbation”, I’m sure that this particular fetish is limited to only a few thousand people in the EU.

Rule 34, you know.